We show our best to strangers
And we show our worst to those who love us the most
Our expectations are set to a standard where no one can reach them
Which leads to people letting us down in return us forgiving them
Our feelings and emotions leave us at our worst
I see myself digging a hole of unmet expectations that I can't let go
It comes over me so fast that I can't overcome it
I sit in shame of how I acted and hope one day I will overcome it
I see my life and how I want it to be but when its not is when I crumble
All my life I've struggled with perfection
Perfection isn't possible for anyone so why do I try so hard
Knowing I'm only human is my answer to be who I am and let go of perfection
This is a big task I can't do alone
So I ask God for help
Show me the way, give me the confidence, patience, and strength to change my ways to become the woman you want me to be.
Agh, I have felt this way. This hole you speak of, I have camped out there for weeks. I hate the way I feel but don't know how to change it. Sometimes I go into my room crawl under the blankets and cover my whole body and just hide from life because I just don't want to face anything or anyone. Can you believe that, a grown woman hiding? I feel like nothing I do matters,like nothing I do is good enough, like I'm all alone with no one to talk to or who even cares. I would feel like this often, with almost no control of my emotions, everything set me off. Then one day God spoke to my heart. And I realized, it was lies. I was listening to lies being told by myself and by Satan. I do matter, what I do matters to God because if I was done with the task He made me for I would be with Him. Satan is the Father of lies and he knows my weaknesses. He knows my insecurities and that's where he attacks me. But Praise God, the war is already won! But to win these battles on a daily basis, I have to speak the truth into my life, so the lies don't take over. I am loved, I matter, what I do matters, I have a purpose in my life, even if it's just getting the laundry done and loving my family.I still fall in that pit sometimes but I do not reside there. When I recognize the stench and crumbling walls, I know I can't trust my feelings and to get out I need to speak the truth into my heart from God every day or maybe every minute until I am out.
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